Every day, you go to work with your own feelings and thoughts – and so does everyone else. Throughout the course of the day, conflicts pop-up around personality differences, not complying with rules and policies, botched communication, and competition. More than mere annoyances, conflicts can serve as unique opportunities to change the way we think and positive change. Facing conflicts is a choice and you’ve got 3 options. Pick one:
In Quiet Leadership, neuroscientist and author David Rock explains why Option 3 works best at work. As we see in his video Learning About the Brain Changes Everything, a collaborative approach encourages your listener to truly take action on your solution.
Starting at birth, the circuitry of our brain is molded by our life experience – every sound, taste, thought, feeling, idea and action. We have a unique way of storing organizing, managing and retrieving information. When we are in a conflict with a colleague, we unconsciously assume that the other person’s brain is wired like ours. Convinced that our own solution is viable, we share the specifics with our colleague. It’s only when we tune-in to their body language that we can see the resistance that makes it difficult for them to act on the suggestion. Not convinced? Think back over your week. How much solicited and unsolicited advice did you receive? How much of it was truly useful? How often were you inspired to take action?
Teaming-up to resolve conflicts is a two-step process.
Step 1: Approach with a plan. You’ve done your homework and set-up a face-to-face meeting. Try adapting the 6 Steps to Transforming Performance that’s outlined in Fumi Barr’s review of David Rock’s book, Quiet Leadership.
Step 2. Be a confident, curious and effective listener. Take chances. Do the unexpected. Help people think and tap into their brilliance to solve problems and co-create solutions with you.
“The best form of listening comes in playing the same role for the other person that a trampoline plays for a child. It gives energy, acceleration, height and amplification.” – What Great Listeners Actually Do
Step 2 is easier said than done. To help, we’ve made a START TALKING! Listening Checklist, inspired by What Great Listeners Actually Do.
1. Create a Constructive and Dynamic 2-way Dialogue
Schedule a free introduction to our 5 Step START TALKING plan – available as a seminar, webinar or coaching program, today.
Let’s celebrate your conversation success stories – and inspire and educate others, please email the specifics.